menu/ WHY WE CAN'T BE ON VACATION WHILE WE'RE STILL IN THE DRIVEWAY

You: "I said to please stop kicking the back of my seat."

The Kid: "I did stop."

You: "But then you started again."

The Kid: "But I did stop."

You: "Yes, that's right. You did stop. But now you are kicking my seat once again, and I would like you to stop."

The Kid: "Can I just do four more kicks?"

You: "No, you can't do four more kicks. I want you to stop it now."

The Kid (still kicking): "What about six more kicks?"

You: "Am I going to have to pull this car over and make you stop kicking my seat?"

The Kid: "I'm not kicking you. My foot is doing it, and my foot doesn't have ears so he doesn't know you want him to stop."

You: You'd better tell your foot right this minute, or I'm going to tell your foot myself! And it won't be pretty!"

The Kid: "Fine! But it is a bad foot, so it probably won't listen."

You (beginning to feel the first stages of kidney failure): "I know how to make a foot listen. If I have to pull over and talk to that foot myself, then it will understand why it shouldn't kick people's seats anymore!"

Copyright 2006 Sandi Kahn Shelton

Learn more about Sandi Kahn Shelton

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